"DiCaprio screwed again?" asks Kris Tapley at InContention.com, reporting that Leo appears in the supporting slot on the SAG ballot for "The Departed." Of course, at the Golden Globes, Leo's classified as lead and competes against himself in "Blood Diamond" for best drama actor. That's certainly a screwy situation! But that's a scenario beyond Leo's control. The Globes have a qualifications committee that came up with that classification.

What Kris means is that Leo may have been screwed at SAG by Warner Bros., which produced both films. At the guild awards, placement is determined by contenders — or, in Leo's case, by his handlers. When actors enter the race, they must follow these instructions on the submission form: "The following information must be included on all forms: (a) Full and complete name of actor(s) as listed in the film's credits. (b) Category in which the submission is to be placed."

I tried to get a peek at the SAG ballot — or at least to get the guild to answer basic questions like which categories Leo and Jennifer Hudson compete in, but its spokesperson clammed up, acting tough, "The ballot is confidential. We cannot disclose who submitted or in which category." Why? The Globes and Emmys, by contrast, always tell me what categories contenders have landed in. The Oscars can't do that because the issue is left wide open. Academy members can choose to put Leo in lead or supporting for "Departed" and there's no way we'll know till noms are announced. The SAGs have a policy of needless paranoid secrecy that betrays the open spirit of a guild — a community of peers who get together for open discussion of important issues, including the bestowal of awards for professional excellence — and is contrary to how things are run by every other major showbiz award. Shame, shame, shame on guild leaders for their bureaucratic bully stance. You expect that nonsense from Jimmy Hoffa's crooked, Mafia-choked guild for dees-and-dems guys, not a supposedly enlightened guild for showbiz sophisticates. It's an outrage that SAG doesn't put all available info out in the open. If anybody's getting screwed during awards season, it's SAG members by their power-mad, controlling chiefs. But, ahem, I digress . . . .

Let's get back to Leo, who's really being shafted by "Blood Diamond" just being in the race. While Leo has more screen time in it than he does in "Departed" and he's got that thick, mouthful-of-South-African-cheese accent (showbiz award voters are usually suckers for that stuff), it's the kind of commercial film that doesn't get Oscar bids (it's got that Big Political Message, sure, but it's basically a two-hour chase flick). But Leo's handlers are looking after the studio's best interests by trying to keep both films in the running. But there's no way that Leo will be nominated at the Oscars for "Blood Diamond" and if its existence pushes Leo into supporting for "Departed," he risks getting clobbered there by "Dreamgirls'" Eddie Murphy. Frankly, Leo's best shot to win an Oscar is in the lead actor race for "Departed," which will be nominated for best picture and may win. Oscar voters love to pair up awards for best pic and actor — think Russell Crowe and "Gladiator," Kevin Spacey and "American Beauty," Dustin Hoffman and "Rain Man," Tom Hanks and "Forrest Gump," Anthony Hopkins in "Silence of the Lambs." You get the idea. That linkage is so strong in voters' minds that a best-actor bid for Leo could even help "Departed" to win the top race.

A month ago I asked Leo what he thinks of this whole debate. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I try to stay out of it. This is one of those things I don't know enough about, frankly, so I gotta defer to wiser heads than mine, if you know what I mean." Then he winked that Leo wink at me.

I was so charmed suddenly that I forgot to grab him by the shoulders, give him a good shake and roar, "Snap out of it! Do you know that you're getting screwed?!" But I failed to snap out of it myself and missed my big chance to rescue a poor, longtime Oscar snubbee adrift at sea. Leo, are you reading this? Your Oscar ship has hit another iceberg . . . .

(Photo: Warner Bros.)