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Here's how Meryl Streep might've made a killing at the Oscars

March 1, 2009 |  1:21 am

Over the past few months of the derby, my Oscarologist pal Tariq Khan shared his views on Kate Winslet and Amy Adams with Gold Derby readers. Now he pipes in with some devilishly fun thoughts on how Meryl Streep might have won best actress at the Oscars. Words below are Tariq's.

Poor Meryl Streep. She lost the Oscar for a 13th time, despite giving in "Doubt" what is arguably her best performance since 1982's "Sophie's Choice." (The film that earned her a second Academy Award.)

She's probably asking herself, "Whom did I have to kill to get another Oscar?"

It seems that the answer may lie in that very question.

Take a look at three other performances that won Oscars this year — Heath Ledger as the Joker in "The Dark Knight," Penelope Cruz as Maria Elena in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" and Kate Winslet as Hanna Schmitz in "The Reader." What do they have in common? They're all evil characters, to varying degrees, of course. They either killed people (Ledger), tried to kill people (Cruz), or allowed innocent people to die (Winslet).

While Streep's Sister Aloysius was vicious and fiercely unlikable, she didn't commit or attempt to commit murder.

Looking at Oscar history over the past 20 years, it seems that this is something of a trend. Performers playing evil characters tend to win Oscars, while those playing merely unsympathetic characters do not.

Don't believe me? Here are 10 examples of evil leading to Oscar.

Doubt2

Anthony Hopkins in "The Silence of the Lambs" — Best Actor of 1991
Most observers gave the edge to Nick Nolte in "The Prince of Tides," saying that the academy would never honor a portrayal of a cannibal, no matter how charming. But the academy ate up the film and the performance, giving Hopkins both the prize and a standing ovation. Host Billy Crystal even joked to Hopkins during his opening monologue, "I'm having some of the academy over for dinner — care to join me?"

Kathy Bates in "Misery" — Best Actress of 1990
Few people thought that those dirty birdies in the academy would actually give the Oscar to the crazy killer in a film based on a Stephen King novel. Previous winner Anjelica Huston was favored for her turn in "The Grifters." Looking back, it makes sense. Huston was merely unpleasant while Bates was horrific — just ask James Caan about those ankles.

Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" — Best Supporting Actor of 2007
It's hard to imagine a character — or haircut — which truly exemplified evil like Bardem showed us in "No Country." Bardem killed mercilessly in both the film and the awards season, leaving his fellow nominees in the dust as he took to the stage to claim his statue on Oscar night.

Forest Whitaker in "The Last King of Scotland" — Best Actor of 2006
The gentlemanly Whitaker showed us a dark side we've never seen from him as brutal dictator Idi Amin. Despite a supporting role and only one nomination for the film, Whitaker trounced the competition in his first bid for Oscar.

Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" — Best Actor of 2007
After winning nearly 20 years earlier for his heroic turn in "My Left Foot," Day-Lewis created a character so ruthless in "There Will Be Blood" that it seemed impossible that the same actor had also portrayed crippled writer Christie Brown. There was blood, and sure enough, there was Oscar.

Denzel Washington in "Training Day" — Best Actor of 2001
After losing for playing more noble characters in "Malcolm X" and "The Hurricane," Washington finally won a lead Oscar for going mean and murderous. Anyone training for Oscar, take note.

Catherine Zeta-Jones in "Chicago" — Best Supporting Actress of 2002
At first glance Velma may not seem that evil, but remember her line in the haunting "He Had It Coming?" Recalling the death of her husband and sister whom she had caught doing the "spread eagle," Zeta-Jones nonchalantly said, "It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead." Note that Mrs. Douglas won the Oscar while her co-star Renee Zellweger lost. Zellweger's Roxy wasn't as evil as Velma, killing her lover only in a fit of rage and later expressing remorse over the act. That may work well with a jury, but not with Oscar voters.

Jeremy Irons in "Reversal of Fortune" — Best Actor of 1990
So maybe we never really knew for sure whether his Claus von Bulow had tried to kill wife Sunny, but academy members had their minds made up. They found both von Bulow and Irons guilty — von Bulow of attempted murder and Irons of flawless acting.

Charlize Theron in "Monster" — Best Actress of 2003
Perhaps I should have put her higher on the list, as her Aileen Wuornos serial killer did off seven men during her stint as a Florida prostitute. Still, the character did evoke sympathy as we saw how she had been abused. Fortunately for Theron, her crazed killer was found monstrous enough to allow her to win the Oscar with relative ease.

Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" — Best Supporting Actress of 2007
For much of the film Swinton's Karen Crowder seemed merely cold and rude, qualities which turn off both human beings and Oscar voters. But when she arranged to have poor Tom Wilkinson whacked, Swinton showed the truly devilish nature of her character. And on the big night, Swinton was crowned with Oscar while Amy Ryan, who merely played an unlikable woman in "Gone Baby Gone," saw her award chances gone baby, gone.

Going back to Meryl Streep — if only Sister Aloysius had thrown in some cyanide along with sugar lumps into Philip Seymour Hoffman's tea, she might have won the Oscar. How can anyone doubt that?

Photo: Miramax

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Comments

Anne Hathaway's character Kym in Rachel Getting Married was responsible for her younger brother Ethan's death......... thought i'd mention that!

Who did Geoffrey Rush kill in "Quills"?

There is no doubt that Meryl Streep is a great screen actress. Regarding the oscars as much as I love this actress I do not share the enthousiasm for her performance in "Doubt". As a matter of fact I was greatly disappointed with her performance which, in my opinion was one-dimensional. Over the last two decades, Streep has given some matgnificent performances for which she could have claimed an oscar especially "The Bridges of Maddison county" and "Out of Africa". And do not forget, she has already won two, which is not bad at all. Some of the most extraordinary actors and actresses of the screen (Greta Garbo always come first in mind) never won an oscar for any of their achievements.

Very well said alluhrey!

I wish Meryl would refrain from telling the truth about the Oscar season. She could have easily won for Adaptation and A Cry in the Dark.

for meryl streep to win another oscar: 1) she has to be loud about wanting another and actually inveigle the studios to mount an aggressive campaign on her behalf, like winslet; 2) she has to adopt an outrightly sexy older woman image and appear in magazine covers baring her bra, ala helen mirren; 3) ingratiate herself to academy members and always be sweet and quiet in events, like marion cotillard.

actually, the way for meryl streep to win is stop being intelligent and outspoken and not say anything like "the oscars are like political campaigns, you run for these awards" or "hollywood is sexist" or in referring to women's underrepresentation in film "we're still not telling everyone's stories", etc.

but wait, she doesn't need another oscar. especially not if it means being someone she isn't. meryl streep is already the greatest living actress!!!

There are problems with this theory:

Adrien Brody (The Pianist) beat Daniel Day-Lewis (GONY) in 2003.

Russell Crowe (Gladiator) beat Geoffrey Rush (Quills) in 2001.

Nicolas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas) beat Sean Penn (Dead Man Walking) in 1996.

Tom Hanks (FG) beat John Travolta (PF) in 1995.

Alan Arkin (LMS) beat Jackie Earle Haley (LC) in 2007.

Benicio Del Toro (T) beat Joaquin Phoenix (Gladiator) and Willem Dafoe (SOAV) in 2001.

Jim Broadbent (Iris) beat Ben Kingsley (SB) in 2002.

I could go on, but I think you get my point. btw, I don't think Streep was a bad character. She was strict, but it is the job of a school principle to look after the safety and security of her students.



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