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Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet: Victims of Oscar curse?

March 17, 2010 |  3:32 pm

Just days after last year's Oscar winner Kate Winslet announced her split with hubby Sam Mendes comes news that the marriage of the newest champ, Sandra Bullock, may be on the rocks. In Touch Weekly reports that Bullock's hubby, Jesse James, had an affair on the sly while Bullock was filming "The Blind Side."

Kate winslet sandra bullock Oscars news

Now Oscarologists wonder: Is there really a kiss of death curse associated with winning best actress?

Over the past 12 years, eight of the best-actress champs busted up with their lovers after winning: Kate Winslet (won for 2008), Reese Witherspoon (2005), Hilary Swank (1999, 2005), Charlize Theron (2003), Halle Berry (2001), Julia Roberts (2000), Gwyneth Paltrow (1998), Helen Hunt (1997). Five of the splits occurred less than a year after their Oscar triumphs (Winslet from hubby Mendes, Witherspoon from hubby Ryan Phillippe, Swank from hubby Chad Lowe, Paltrow from boyfriend Ben Affleck, Roberts from boyfriend Benjamin Bratt). Berry's break-up with Eric Benet occurred 18 months after winning; Hunt split with Hank Azaria less than two years later.

It's ironic, looking back, at how effusively the stars gushed at the Oscar podium while thanking their men on the eve of their relationship's end.

Witherspoon: "I want to say thank you to my wonderful husband."

Swank in 2005: "Chad, you're my everything. Thank you for your support. It means the world."

Berry: "My husband, who is the joy of my life."

Bullock to James: "You get dressed up in monkey suits and you sit at a table with people you don't know. I love you so much, and you're really hot. And I want you so much!"

Can it be a mere coincidence that these women's romantic lives go kaput so soon after the biggest triumph of their careers? Is it because victory goes to their heads and these women become impossible divas to live with? Or is it because their men are overly macho types who can't tolerate being upstaged by their female partners' success? The latter may be a contributing factor in the split of Witherspoon and Phillippe. There were reports that Phillippe looked miserable and pouted all night at the parties — where he obviously didn't want to be — after Witherspoon won. Ryan should've exulted in his own victory too. That same night his film "Crash" won best picture, but he didn't win a statuette himself. Some observers believe that bothered him a lot as Reese flashed her glittering golden boy right and left, leaving her lover boy sitting alone in a corner, looking downcast.


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Photo: Los Angeles Times 

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I don't really get it why most men I've known felt miserable with the triumph of their partners. Aren't they just be happy for their wives or partners? For me, the problem with them I think is their precious ego. They just can't accept the fact for their partner's success. That's why I really don't think I could be able to find a guy that do love their partner with what they are and what they have. It's just my mere observation from my guy friends. That's what they are, and I kept on asking them but they don't give me proper answer. I wonder why?

Winning an oscar is no small feat... it's talent no doubt, it's hard work and long hours "away" from your spouse no doubt, and it changes things thereafter with how you feel when you're around someone who is officially a goddess of some sort. I bet that most of these men have had issues with their significant other while she was working up the achievement... but each have their own stories behind them. Actresses are people just like us... ain't it nice to know that the fame and fortune doesn't make you invincible? So sometimes, the golden boy is also a call of "Come back down to earth goddesses"...

Hollywood is all about the fragile egos' it supports.Its a game of musical partners in a fantasy world.No curse there,just predetermination.Best bet would be to marry a professional in an entirely different field.Lets face it,two actors living under the same roof is usually one too many.A healthy relationship in Hollywood runs about as long as it takes to make a good movie.

I think that actors who win Oscars or any other awards really dig deep the get the performance right. What this usually does is open up the actor to a new awareness and freedom never experienced before. I believe that sometimes this can become overwhelming to a spouse. When compounded with the success that winning an Oscar can bring, this can be a lethal combination for relationships if it creates fear on the part of the spouse. Having said this, I will also say that men seem to have more of this fear. Hence the usually inevitable breakup.

I think that almost anyone who has won an Oscar has been awarded for work in which they really dug deep to get the performance right. This means that they have stripped themselves bare for the role. This may bring about a new awareness for the actor as well as a freedom of self that that person has never felt before. I suspect that this awareness and freedom from women actors can be overwhelming to their spouses. While everyone has fear, I think that this fear is even more prevalent in men because the women actors have opened themselves up to this new experience. Hence the almost inevitable breakup.

It takes a good man to stand by a strong, confident, assertive, and ambitious woman. Unfortunately there aren't many men like that.

"Or maybe it's because the pressure, hard-work and dedication it takes to be a successful woman (during the filming of the Blindside) threatens a man who is not getting the "attention" he desires. "

I'm going to try and defend the fellow men of my species. It might not simply be one or the other being a macho man or vain diva. Maybe it's simply that Oscar level roles for women tend to be emotionally gut-wrenching performances. There were rumors after Heath Ledger's death that his role in "The Dark Knight" might have really affected his mind. Maybe doing such intense roles compounded with the typical stress of a marriage/committed relationship and often a family eventually affect them until something has to give.
Additionally, I don't think that Jesse James would be upset about being upstaged: He's not an actor, it wasn't his scene, and I don't think he would really care.

Hilary Swan won her second Oscar for the 2004 film Million Dollar Baby

Or maybe it's because the pressure, hard-work and dedication it takes to be a successful woman (during the filming of the Blindside) threatens a man who is not getting the "attention" he desires. Unfortunately, spineless men can waver quickly and dont know how to stand beside and behind their hard working wives/women. I am so sorry, Sandra, you are one wonderful woman!! I admire you. Don't loose your joy, your fire, your gift and ability to make everyone else in the world smile!!

There's always one or two person in complete denial. Thank you, lori ficht and sizzle star, for volunteering to be that person. Would you get back to us once the story is confirmed to your satisfaction? Thanks! (But of course you won't.)

I would be shocked if Jesse has had an affiar. He was crying when she was giving her speech, and they seem so much in love. I was so happy when i found out they were getting married cuz im fans of them both. I doubt this is true tho, just something to make headlines. like brad and angelina and their "problems"

I'm shocked that no one's decried the untrustworthiness of the source of this Sandra Bullock/Jesse James story - In Touch magazine!? Perhaps we should withhold judgement until the story is confirmed by a more legitimate outlet. Or better yet, perhaps we should withhold judgement, full stop. What do we know? Perhaps he did cheat on her, but they're working it out. We've no right to condemn.

To Jerry at 6:03p 3/17 - HERE, HERE, people everywhere are breaking up all the time - what's the big deal that less than 50% of female Oscar winners break up with their mates -at least 50% of ALL women break up with their mates, especially when their only dating!!!!

This is an absurd assumption - of the eight you listed only 3 were married, 4 were dating, Hunt didn't break up with her boyfriend for a year and a half (a lifetime in Hollywood) and you didn't say what happened to Theron (marriage/relationship). Dating couples breaking up happens all the time...everywhere! What is wrong with you? If you look at non-Hollywood marriages, relationships that break-up, they occur at approximately the same or perhaps higher rate as Hollywood's, just not so glamorous. My only concern is that I hope the Sandra/Jessee breakup is just rumour, I think they are both great individually and as a couple.

He's a dog and unworthy. She deserves better than him. I knew a guy who claimed to be a relative of J.J. Is it any wonder he tried to pull a pistol on me? Anyway.


Doug Stover

Kate Winslet is not a victim of a curse. She left her marriage because she said she was "bored" in the marriage. She gets no pity from me. Maybe her little boy will be sympathetic to her ennui, but I am not.

And the Oscar for worst moral judgement in a supporting role goes to ... Jesse James. Why do strong, talented women attract such jerks?

Then how do you explain the other 4 Actresses in the last 12 years that won the Oscar? Are they still married to same man and r they even married? Hmmm Also I can think of one major Actress in the last 30 years or so who has been nominated over 16 times and has managed to stay with the same husband..MERYL STREEP. Perhaps that's why she hasn't won in years..cuz Hollywood doesn't want her marriage to end. Also, he's not in show business and must be one of the most secure men and know who he is in their relationship for her to achieve all the success in films as the artist she is. Now that's what I would say.."stand by your woman". For this alone, Meryl Streep and husband deserve a special award. I'm just saying...

I second that Smallworld nailed it. So sick of seeing this dynamic. It's like when Tamra tattooed Simon's name onto her ring finger on Real HW's of OC. She was trying to make him feel more secure. Madonna also used to do this a lot when she was married to Guy Ritchie. Once it's reached that point, it's probablyy doomed anyway.

Why didn't this story come out before? The press has heard rumors I am sure....why would you even report this?

We are tired of the press looking in peoples bedrooms.
But when the selacious sexual conduct happens to one of your own (Tobin - CNN) it barely gets a blip.

Tobin - fathered a child in his out of wedlock trist.....why is that not plastered all over the news 24/7?

The arguments about the inability of some men to accept their wife's success is logical, but the connection to Sandra Bullock specifically are a reverse sexist manipulation of the facts.

Bullock married a man who's ex was a porn star. This is a guy with bad boy written in neon lights above his head. This is the same old ridiculous fairy tale some women tell themselves - and is the plot of a vast percentage of all romance novels - the bad boy with allegedly inner beauty that only the woman can help reveal so that he can truly reform.

Bullock did this to herself. It wasn't because she's too successful or ignored her husband's needs. It happened because she married a jerk and, like many, bypassed the "nice guys" who would have stood by her side through thick and thin. The problem here isn't the men, it's women and the type of men they find attractive.

As a woman who has lived in my husbands shadow I can say how hard it is to put up with supporting him, listen to his ego, and be neglected on his long trips. But, I have somehow managed to put up with this for 23 years. I have my limits, but I don't bail out. These men are weak, sissy pants princesses who can't deal with their wives success. I say suck it up or leave. Maybe these gals need someone who CAN deal with it.

You know in your heart sometimes when you're saying, thank you to my wonderful husband don't really mean it. You just don't want to hurt anyones feelings. It's all for show, so sad. Acting is acting after all.

Smallworld, you nailed it. It's exhausting!

I think it's a classic case of weak men being threatened by their female partners' success! So neandertal . . .




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