"Call the paramedics!" tweeted Kathy Griffin upon losing the Emmy for best reality program to her nemesis. "I'm putting myself on a 5150 psych hold (a la Britney) 72 hours in a padded cell, far, far away from @RyanSeacrest."
Griffin also tweeted lots of other reax, but many are not quotable for this family-friendly organization. In addition, she tweeted the photo below of herself with fellow Emmy loser Kristin Chenoweth at the Governors Ball after the Creative Arts ceremony.
In our webcam chat with Griffin last week, she fumed with worry about her upcoming showdown with Seacrest. If you haven't seen it, tune in — she's hilarious.
"If you're going to start throwing Ryan Seacrest around, then you just want me to burst into tears and have this interview be nominated for best dramatic actress next year!" Kathy Griffin gasps during our webcam chat about her Emmy bout for best reality program.
Of course, I had to mention Seacrest up front. It's too juicy, bizarre and hilarious that Griffin's "My Life on the D-List" is nominated against a program ("Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution") produced by her old nemesis. Their feud dates to 2005 when Griffin replaced Joan Rivers as E! network's red-carpet host at the Golden Globes, then lost the job to Seacrest when a hubbub erupted over her joke that 11-year-old Dakota Fanning had gone into rehab.
To appreciate the irony of their current Emmy battle, it's key to keep two points in mind:
1.) Griffin is obsessed with the Emmys. In this interview, she confesses that she carried "Emmy and Emily" (the statuettes she won in 2007 and 2008) around so much that they got damaged, needed welding. Last year she told Gold Derby, "I'll trade my mother for a third Emmy!" (Her show lost to "Intervention.")
2.) Griffin jokes about Ryan Seacrest relentlessly — and savagely.
Now that Seacrest, of all people, has invaded the Emmy category she feels she owns (she's been nominated for four years in a row), she's freaking out.
"I think the jury is in – we have proof," she says. "Ryan is clearly trying to kill me!"
Griffin worries that the Emmys themselves may be out to get her. "I still don't have tickets to the primetime Emmys even though I won two and I'm nominated for two again," she notes eerily. "I've offered to the academy to be a seat-filler. You know what would be funny? Seeing me sitting next to Kyra Sedgwick when Kevin Bacon goes to the bathroom."
Griffin does have tickets to the Creative Arts Emmy ceremony -- what she nicknames "the Schmemmys" -- where her category will be decided on Aug. 21. She's talking about not having tickets to the main prime-time telecast eight days later.
I invite Griffin to sit with me backstage in the general press room. "You can get me a press pass?!" she gasps gleefully. "I'm really serious about this because I think this is a really funny idea and nobody else would do it. Do you really think you could get me a press pass or will they so no? Just look into it!"
Griffin has good reason to worry that she's still in trouble with Emmy chieftains. When she won in 2007, she said at the podium, "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."
She went on to hold up her Emmy, make a racy remark about Christ and proclaim, "This award is my god now!" Her speech was so blasphemous that it was censored when telecast by E! network and reported in print media. The academy issued an unprecedented apology.
When Griffin was nominated again the next year, she promised to be good if she won, but she dropped F-bombs when she was called to the stage, adding, "I'm not going to tell anyone to suck it. I would make love to this thing if I could."
So I ask her now: What will she do this year if she wins?
"If I win, let me just say something that is water-cooler talk, but will not get me banned from anything or kicked off anything," she replies. "It will just leave you with a hint of excitement and regret."
In addition to "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution," the other shows competing against Griffin's "My Life on the D-List" for the Emmy as best reality program are "Antiques Roadshow," "Dirty Jobs," "MythBusters" and "Undercover Boss."
The award for best reality program is bestowed at the creative arts ceremony held Aug. 21 — that's eight days before the main Emmy telecast by NBC. DVDs and ballots for the creative arts contests were mailed to judges last week. Final votes must be received by accountants by Aug. 10. The award for best reality host will be doled out on the Aug. 29 Emmycast. That means that ballots and those DVDs are being shipped to voters this week. Votes are due by Aug. 17.
BEST REALITY PROGRAM "Antiques Roadshow" ("Atlantic City, Hour One") "Dirty Jobs" ("High Rise Window Washer") "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" (Episode 101) "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" ("Norma Gay") "Mythbusters" ("Duct Tape Hour") "Undercover Boss" ("Waste Management")
BEST REALITY HOST "The Amazing Race," Phil Keoghan ("Nanna Is Kicking Your Butt") "American Idol," Ryan Seacrest (Episode 930/931A) "Dancing With the Stars," Tom Bergeron (Episode 1001) "Project Runway," Heidi Klum ("Sew Much Pressure") "Survivor," Jeff Probst ("This Is the Man Test")
Here's who I predict will score bids when Emmy Awards nominations are unveiled Thursday morning:
BEST DRAMA SERIES "Breaking Bad" "Damages" "Dexter" "Mad Men" "The Good Wife" "Lost"
ALTERNATES: "Big Love," "Friday Night Lights," "House M.D.," "Sons of Anarchy," "Treme"
BEST COMEDY SERIES "The Big Bang Theory" "Curb Your Enthusiasm" "Family Guy" "Glee" "Modern Family" "30 Rock"
ALTERNATES: "Community," "How I Met Your Mother," "Entourage," "Nurse Jackie," "The Office," "Parks and Recreation," "Weeds"
BEST DRAMA ACTOR Simon Baker ("The Mentalist") Bryan Cranston ("Breaking Bad") Michael C. Hall ("Dexter") Jon Hamm ("Mad Men") Hugh Laurie ("House") Timothy Olyphant ("Justified")
ALTERNATES: Matt Bomer ("White Collar"), Kyle Chandler ("Friday Night Lights"), Matthew Fox ("Lost"), Peter Krause ("Parenthood"), Denis Leary ("Rescue Me"), Bill Paxton ("Big Love"), Wendell Pierce ("Treme"), Kiefer Sutherland ("24")
BEST DRAMA ACTRESS Glenn Close ("Damages") Mariska Hargitay ("Law & Order: SVU") January Jones ("Mad Men") Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife") Katey Sagal ("Sons of Anarchy") Kyra Sedgwick ("The Closer")
ALTERNATES: Sally Field ("Brothers and Sisters"), Anna Gunn ("Breaking Bad"), Holly Hunter ("Saving Grace"), Melissa Leo ("Treme"), Anna Paquin ("True Blood")
BEST COMEDY ACTOR Steve Carell ("The Office") Alec Baldwin ("30 Rock") Larry David ("Curb Your Enthusiasm") Matthew Morrison ("Glee") Jim Parsons ("The Big Bang Theory") Tony Shalhoub ("Monk")
ALTERNATES: David Duchovny ("Californication"), Joel McHale ("Community"), Thomas Jane ("Hung"), Charlie Sheen ("Two and a Half Men")
Over the past few weeks, our forums posters have been nominating their favorite TV shows and programs from the 2009-10 season for the Gold Derby TV Awards. Voters have until Aug. 6 to vote for the final winner in each category.
Two freshman shows lead the pack: "Glee" with 13 nominations and "Modern Family" with 11, followed by the final season of "Lost" with 10 and "Mad Men" with 10. Fired NBC host Conan O'Brien received three nominations (variety series, variety performance and performer of the year). Although eligible, two of last year's winners ("The Office" for comedy series and Neil Patrick Harris for comedy supporting actor) were not even nominated in those categories this year.
We have been holding these awards since 2004. Special thanks to Chris "Boomer" Beachum, Andrew Pickett, Robert Licuria and Matt Noble for helping to count ballots. Below, this year's nominees. To vote for the winners, register in our forums by clicking on the link marked "Login/Join." After registering, go to Boomer's profile here, then click the link to "send a private message" and send him your votes that way.
COMEDY LEAD ACTRESS: Courteney Cox-Arquette as Jules Cobb on "Cougar Town" Edie Falco as Jackie Peyton on "Nurse Jackie" Tina Fey as Liz Lemon on "30 Rock" Lea Michele as Rachel Berry on "Glee" Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin on "Weeds" Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope on "Parks & Recreation"
COMEDY LEAD ACTOR: Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy on "30 Rock" Steve Carell as Michael Scott on "The Office" Larry David as Larry David on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" Zachary Levi as Chuck Bartowski on "Chuck" Joel McHale as Jeff Winger on "Community" Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper on "The Big Bang Theory"
COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Julie Bowen as Claire Dunphy on "Modern Family" Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesley Halpert on "The Office" Jane Krakowski as Jenna Maroney on "30 Rock" Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester on "Glee" Sofia Vergara as Gloria Delgado-Pritchett on "Modern Family" Merritt Wever as Zoey Barkow on "Nurse Jackie"
COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTOR: Ty Burrell as Phil Dunphy on "Modern Family" Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel on "Glee" John Krasinski as Jim Halpert on "The Office" Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson on "Parks & Recreation" Danny Pudi as Abed Nadir on "Community" Eric Stonestreet as Cameron Tucker on "Modern Family"
BEST REALITY PROGRAM (Front-runners) "Antiques Roadshow" "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew" "Dirty Jobs" "Dog Whisperer" "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" "Intervention" "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" "Mythbusters" "Shatner's Raw Nerve" "Penn & Teller ..." "Who Do You Think You Are?"
SPOTLIGHT: Here's proof that Hollywood 1) is crazy and 2) spends recklessly. Many of TV's most trashy shows have not only filled out forms to compete for the industry's highest award, but also paid $400 to $800 entry fees: "Jersey Shore," "Jon & Kate Plus 8," "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" and "Real Housewives" of Atlanta, New Jersey, New York City and Orange County.
(Possible) "Ace of Cakes" "Addicted" "I Survived" "Kirstie Alley's Big Life" "Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood"
• Two-time Emmy champ Kathy Griffin is a savvy campaigner for TV's top honor. In Thursday's print edition of the Hollywood Reporter, she displays her considerable talents in a "For Your Consideration" ad. Griffin poses in a cheesecake shot reminiscent of 1950s pin-up Bettie Page. The copy touts her three Emmy hopes -- best reality program ("My Life on the D-List"), best variety music or comedy special ("Balls of Steel") and guest actress in a drama series ("Law & Order: SVU"). She also heralds her work in a category that has yet to get Emmy recognition -- a YouTube sex video -- and in the ad copy says, "They don't give out an Emmy for best airbrushing but if they did, I'd totally win." Griffin has won two of her four bids for best reality show (2007, 2008) but lost both of her races for best variety special. "SVU" has proven to be a gold mine for guest actresses with four of them winning the Emmy and another 10 contending.
• "The New Adventures of Old Christine" was canceled by CBS on May 18, and Mike Ausiello delivers the scoop that ABC will not be picking up the series after all. The alphabet net was said to be interested in the laffer in years past when it was on the bubble for renewal. Julia Louis-Dreyfus won the Emmy for lead actress in a comedy series for the show's 13-episode first season run in 2006 and has contended for each of the following three full seasons. ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
• Erik Pipenburg has crafted an interactive report on the four Tony Awards nominees for best sound design of a play -- Adam Cork ("Enron," "Red"), Acme Sound Partners ("Fences") and Scott Lehrer ("A View From the Bridge") -- including interviews and audio excerpts of their work. ARTS BEAT
• Sir Paul McCartney wowed at the White House Wednesday during the presentation to him of the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. As Nancy Benac reports, "Stevie Wonder had the Obamas clapping to 'We Can Work It Out.' The Jonas Brothers did 'Baby You Can Drive My Car.' Corinne Bailey Rae slowed things down with 'Blackbird.' And Faith Hill stroked 'Long and Winding Road.'" However, "it was McCartney himself who brought down the house by belting out 'Michelle,' aiming his words straight at a first lady named Michelle. He said he'd been 'itching' to perform it at the White House, and asked the president's forgiveness in advance. The first lady was soon mouthing the words along with McCartney and the president was swaying in his seat." The evening will air on PBS July 28 as part of the "In Performance at the White House" series. AP
• Tony-winning writer-director Arthur Laurents ("La Cage aux Folles") has honored his late partner of 52 years Tom Hatcher by creating a new award for emerging playwrights in both their names. The prize will be given annually with $50,000 going to the creator of a full-length play of social relevance and an additional $100,000 to the non-profit theater that stages its premiere. PLAYBILL
• John Consoli has an extensive rundown of the bold-faced names appearing on the fourth annual Guys Choice Awards airing on Spike TV on Father's Day (June 20). Among those attending the June 5 taping in L.A. are nominees George Clooney, LeBron James, Kiefer
Sutherland and Scarlett Johansson. Winners of the 14 awards will be decided by an online vote. THE WRAP
Upper photo: Kathy Griffin "For Your Consideration" ad. Credit: THR
Middle photo: Paul McCartney and President Obama at the White House. Credit: Andrew Harrer/EPA/Pool.
• Mike Ausiello is doling out his dream Emmy Awards ballot in bite-size pieces this year. Among the tasty morsels is this one about the never-nominated stars of "Friday Night Lights" -- Kyle Chandler: "His coach turned the misfits of East Dillon into champions. Surely that warrants an Emmy"; and Connie Britton: "Carried the ball, never fumbling, even with a tricky abortion plot." Mike also touts the awards potential of a pair of onetime "Six Feet Under" co-stars -- Michael C. Hall ("Dexter"): "He killed as Dex tried (and failed) to have it all"; and Peter Krause ("Parenthood"): "His character is flawed. His performance? Not so much." ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
• Andy Richter is close to inking a deal to host the latest revamp of the classic game show "Pyramid." The original incarnation hosted by Dick Clark was an Emmy powerhouse in the 1970s and 1980s. However, this gamer is not guaranteed to get to air. As Josef Adalian reports, it "is still competing with other projects for the 'As the World Turns' slot. Another potential project is a 'View'-like talk show co-hosted by Sara Gilbert and Julie Chen, and we hear rumblings that Sharon Osbourne has been talked about to join them for a pilot." NEW YORK
• Coincidentally came news that Dick Clark will be feted at the 37th annual daytime Emmy Awards in Las Vegas on June 27. "It was time for us to talk about Dick Clark and his influence on daytime," said the awards show's exec producer, David McKenzie. "He had a huge influence on television and was a tremendous cornerstone of the music business as well. We couldn't pass up the opportunity." Paying tribute will be Ann-Margret, Frankie Avalon, Garth Brooks, Cher, Simon Cowell, Jay Leno, Barry Manilow, Marie Osmond and the Spinners. The kudocast, to air on CBS, will be hosted by Regis Philbin.
• Reigning Emmy champ Michael Emerson says the upcoming DVD edition of the complete series of "Lost" will include an extra that might satisfy some fans left mystified by Sunday's finale. Explains Emerson, "there is a bonus feature ... a lost scene. It’s a lot. It’s 12 or 14 minutes that opens a window onto that gap of unknown time between Hurley becoming number one and the end of the series. It’s self-contained, although it’s a rich period in the show’s mythology that‘s never been explored, so who knows what will come of it." G4
• The "Twilight" franchise dominated the third National Movie Awards in London Wednesday with winners, determined by a public vote, including Robert Pattinson for best performance, while "New Moon" nailed best fantasy and "Eclipse" earned the award for most anticipated movie. The sixth film in the "Harry Potter" series -- "Half Blood Prince" -- took best family film while the entire run won a special recognition prize. Also honored were "Sherlock Holmes" (best action/thriller), "The Time Traveler's Wife" (breakthrough film) and Tom Cruise as a screen icon.
• Kathy Griffin dropped by "The Tonight Show" Wednesday to promote the upcoming season of "My Life on the D-List." She regaled Jay Leno with stories of her road trip to Alaska with Levi Johnson in the hopes of landing a dinner invite from his onetime potential mother-in-law Sarah Palin. The sixth season of this two-time Emmy winner for best reality series begins on Bravo June 15. TV SQUAD
• The Tony Awards
in conjunction with longtime host broadcaster CBS and Macy’s are conducting an online contest to find two would-be Broadway belters to walk the red carpet at the 64th annual theater kudos June 13. Winners will be chosen in a two-part process. Contestants have uploaded videos of their renditions of selected show tunes and an online vote that goes till June 1 will determine five finalists who will be flown to Gotham to take part in a sing-off at the flagship Macy's in Herald Square on June 11, where an expert panel will pick the two winners. CBS
• Theater critic David Sheward has come up with his own kudos that canvas the entire Gotham legit scene. As he explains, "These are strictly my own personal choices for what I thought was the best of 2009-10 and not to be confused with my predictions for any other awards -- that will come later. If a designer or actor did outstanding work in more than one production in the same category, such as Jessica Hecht in 'A View from the Bridge' and 'Brighton Beach Memoirs,' I include them both. Sometimes the choices are similar to those for other awards like the DDs, Lortels, Outer Critics, and Obies, sometimes I
include totally overlooked work, such as the stunning Australian production of 'A Streetcar Named Desire' at BAM which no award group recognized." BACKSTAGE
• Recent Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner ("The Hurt Locker") will be on hand to present at the Student Academy Awards on June 12. A lucky 13 students will be celebrated with a week of events at the academy culminating in the awards ceremony. The academy began these awards in 1972 "to support and encourage excellence in filmmaking at the collegiate level." Previous student winners have gone on to receive 40 Oscar nominations and have won or shared seven awards. AMPAS
Top photo: Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler in "Friday Night Lights." Credit: NBC.
Middle photo: "Lost" logo. Credit: ABC.
Bottom photo: Tony Awards logo. Credit: American Theater Wing.
• Writer/director Bill Condon -- who co-produced last year's Academy Awards -- has inked a deal to direct the fourth film in the "Twilight" franchise. There is talk that "Breaking Dawn" will be split into two films, as is being done with the last in the "Harry Potter" series. Condon -- who won an Oscar for his script for "Gods & Monsters" -- said in a statement, "I’m very excited to get the chance to bring the climax of this saga to life on-screen. As fans of the series know, this is a one-of-a-kind book and we’re hoping to create an equally unique cinematic experience."
• The first wave of bold-faced names who will attend the presentation of the AFI lifetime achievement award to Oscar-winning director Mike Nichols ("The Graduate") has been announced. Among those speaking at the June 10 ceremony will be a pair of two-time Oscar winners who are both previous AFI honorees -- Tom Hanks (2002) and Meryl Streep (2003) -- as well as two more Oscar champs -- Cher and Julia Roberts. All four of them have been directed at least once by Nichols who is one of only 10 people to have won the grand slam of all four major showbiz awards. YAHOO
• Looks like four-time lead actor Emmy nominee Steve Carell could be resigning from "The Office" when his contract expires at the end of next season. As Willa Paskin reports, "Asked if he would stay longer, Carell, who has some ten movie projects in the works, told a BBC reporter, 'I don't think so. I think that will probably be my last year.' Of course, the last thing NBC needs is for the leading man of their highest-rated comedy to split, so they will likely offer Carell just about anything he wants to stay." NEW YORK
• The revamped official website of the Tony Awards will include a streaming feed of both the red carpet and the press room at the 64th annual edition of these top theater kudos on June 13. There will also be a section devoted to the Twitter feeds of the nominees after they are announced on May 4. TONY AWARDS
•Two-time Emmy champ Kathy Griffin talks with Scott Huver about the upcoming sixth season of "My Life on the D-List" including what sounds like a must-see episode with her taking an acting lesson from Oscar champ Liza Minnelli ("Cabaret"). Says Griffin, "What I took away from working with Liza was she wasn’t in her Liza kooky wacky mode. We see her on TV and so often she’s just putting on the Liza show. And when we were alone in her room, just the two of us rehearsing, she was so in the moment and so fantastic and that’s when you really see it." TV GUIDE
• Jethro Nededog reports on the fun MTV is having touting its choice of "Parks and Recreation" supporting player Aziz Ansari as the host of this year's movie awards on June 6. In the promo, which debuted Tuesday night, "High School Musical" star Zac Efron, music mogul Diddy and "Gossip Girl" narrator Kristen Bell answer the question: Who is Aziz Ansari? ZAP2IT
Top photo: "Breaking Dawn" book cover. Credit: Hachette
Middle photo: Steve Carell in "The Office." Credit: NBC
Bottom photo: Kathy Griffin in "My Life on the D-List." Credit: Bravo
Over the last two years, Kathy Griffin has blasphemed Jesus and dropped F-bombs while accepting awards at the Creative Arts Emmys, but she will officially preside over the event at Nokia Theatre on Sept. 12. Even though the TV academy has publicly denounced her performance at the podium as "offensive" in the past, she will host the ceremony that she frequently mocks as the "Schmemmys." The Creative Arts Emmys are a target for jokes because they honor mostly technicians, makeup artists and other crafts workers at a low-profile gala held prior to the main Emmy bash telecast on network TV.
In 2008 and 2007, while nominated at the Schmemmys, Kathy Griffin's Bravo show, "My Life on the D-List," won best reality program and probably would've skated to easy victory again this year if not for the breakout success of "Jon and Kate Plus 8," which will probably nab its first nomination this Thursday. While presiding as host, will Griffin erupt in a tirade of F-bombs is she loses? Or if she wins?
When she triumphed in 2007, Kathy Griffin's acceptance speech caused major hubbub: "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus." Then she added: "Hell has frozen over. ... it, Jesus. This award is my god now!"
TV academy chiefs issued a statement denouncing her remarks as "offensive," and they were heavily censored when her win was shown on the edited version of the ceremony aired by E! Entertainment network.
When she won in 2008, she dropped lots of F-bombs that were also edited out of taped version of the show aired later on E!: "Well, well, well! Here we go again . . . . Here we go again!" Looking around the auditorium, she acknowledged some celebs in the audience, adding, "Hanks, Gandolfini — what the … ! I'm not going to tell anyone to ... it. I would make love to this thing if I could."
Kathy Griffin has been romping victoriously over the Emmy category for best reality program the past two years, but may be tangling with a monster now when facing off against "Jon & Kate Plus 8." The hit TLC reality series has never been nominated, but Emmy contenders are chosen by a popular ballot, which boosts its odds now given the show's high profile. News that Jon and Kate Gosselin are busting up may hurt its odds, but the vast majority of ballots are already in accountants' hands considering voting ends this Friday.
Past repeat nominees in this category include "Antiques Roadshow" and "Extreme Makeover," so they'll likely be back again. Last year, "Intervention" and "Dirty Jobs" were nommed; "Dog Whisperer" and "Penn & Teller: Bull ... " made the lineup two years ago.
Below, we handicap the list of all contenders in the category. See the official Emmy ballot here.
When Kathy Griffin won two years ago, censors zapped her blasphemous acceptance speech. Last year, she promised to behave if she won again, but she dropped F-bombs on stage, adding, "I'm not going to tell anyone to ... it. I would make love to this thing if I could."
What about this year? In her webcam chat with Gold Derby, Kathy addressed Emmy voters, proclaiming, "I am your clay, television academy, so if you want me to drop trou and accept bottomless, so be it. I want a third Emmy in the way most people want the stock market to rebound or Angelina Jolie wants one more kid. I will trade my mother for a third Emmy. No offense to her. She's lovely. But I will do whatever it takes."
BEST REALITY PROGRAM (Front-runners) "Ace of Cakes" "Antiques Roadshow" "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew" "Dirty Jobs" "The Dog Whisperer" "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" "Intervention" "Jon & Kate Plus 8" "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List" "Man vs. Wild" "Penn & Teller: Bull ...!"
After winning best reality program for the last two years, Kathy Griffin confesses to Gold Derby, "I want a third Emmy in the way most people want the stock market to rebound or Angelina Jolie wants one more kid. I have an Emmy-winning disorder, which I'm very open about. I want to win a third Emmy, and I want to wrestle it out of the dead hands of Ty Pennington. I'm sorry. I know he helps people. I'm sorry."
In our webcam chat, Kathy confesses that she'll even make a supreme sacrifice for another chunk of TV academy gold: "I am willing to trade one family member each year I win an Emmy. Now I'm going to go out on a limb here because all know that the real reason people watch 'My Life on the D-List' is because of my mother and no offense to her ... but this year I will trade my mother for a third Emmy. Now I've discussed it with her as well as her nurse, and she knows it's not personal. But I will do whatever it takes, and she and I have an agreement."